I write what I write

CHPercolator scribbling - 24 june 2001

"Where are the tigers?"

by Anita Dapperens

 

"Where are the tigers?"

Trisha looks down at Kieran, sighing.

She doesn't know and she doesn't really care, she doesn't even know what she's doing here today.

She had planned such a lovely day out for herself. She was going to sleep in, go shopping, treat herself to a luxurious dinner at that fancy Greek restaurant in town and catch the last production of "Beautiful Thing", a play that she had been wanting to go to for months but just never got the chance to. She sighs again.

Yeah, such lovely plans. But instead she is walking around in the zoo with Kieran.

"Oh, mum. Look at the dolphins!"

She smiles at him. It's not his fault, she knows that.

She was furious with Michael when he called yesterday morning.

One weekend, one bloody weekend a month, and yet again he managed to weasel himself out of it.

Last month it was a business trip, the month before that it was a reception he couldn't get out of, and the month before that ...

She doesn't even remember all the reasons he gave her for not being able to spend a weekend with his son. He never missed a payment though, on the contrary, he was always very generous. But the last time Kieran had even seen his dad was the day after his birthday, almost a year ago. Not ON his birthday, no, the day after, because that was the day Michael had put in his agenda. He couldn't even remember his son's birthday right.

Fondling Kieran's hair as he babbles excitedly about the seals and sea lions, Trisha thinks about how she yelled into the phone, how she called Michael every name in the book. Oh, yeah, she really hadn't held back this time ... and she threatened him. She told him that if he didn't show up at six like he was supposed to, he didn't have to show up at all ... ever.

Deep in her mind she knows that maybe that is just what Michael wanted, what she had been scared of and been fighting all this time. But now she finally realises that Kieran might be better of without him, and instead of spending a well earned and well needed day by herself she is walking around in the zoo with Kieran.

Okay, so she isn't enjoying herself as much as he is. And she feels a little guilty for dumping him on her parents again tonight, so she can at least go and see that play. But for the first time since the divorce she feels free, truly free.

"Mummy? Mummy, are you crying?"

Trisha shakes her head and kneels down, blinking away tears she didn't even realise were forming. After giving Kieran a hug she takes his small hand in hers and smiles.

"Come on," she says to him, "let's go find those tigers."

 

The End

© 2001 Anita Dapperens - all rights reserved